Which Is Where We Are Now

  • Many years ago I read a book whose story struck me. I didn’t realize how much it struck me until years later, when I found myself desperately wanting to reread it and reclaim some of its details. I’m fairly certain it was a Deepak Chopra book, but I’ve failed to identify the book and now I’m not even sure of that it was a Chopra book. I detect some hints of The Epic of Gilgamesh in my recollections as well. In any case, here is my partly fabricated version of what I remember…

    There have been a number of miracle healers over the centuries. Once such healer was Desimsodenes(?) of Persia(?), who lived in the 4th(?) century. He was a chemist of renown, and very learned. He preformed miracle healings regularly; it was the grand chore of his life; he moved from town to town, performing these miracles, with no real message and for only nominal recompense, if any.

    Either he had been in touch with the supernatural or he was an atheist. (I forget what the source had said.) He leaves us this story…

    * * *

    Once upon a time, there were twin brothers born half-divine, for their father was Hasam(?), a god in the manner of Zeus. Just before reaching the cusp of their manhood, they acknowledged to one another a yearning to meet with their divine father and have their divinity acknowledged by him.

    Thus, they fled their village in search of the gods. They traveled for days and days. They were so strong and full of life, they went a long way without need of sustenance. But, eventually, they began to languish. Just then, near the top of a mountain, they encountered a couple’s homestead.

    The couple were very welcoming. They were of sturdy stock: healthy and beautiful. The wife provided them with food and beverages. It was a restoritive, magical time. After a number of days, the young men sensed they were receiving the hospitality of a divine couple.

    One evening, at dinner, the wife asked the young men the reason for their journey that took them so far. When the young men told them of their semi-divine nature and their desire to have an audience with the gods, the wife looked them over in contemplation. She conferred with her husband in soft seriousness.

    “We can help you with your quest,” the husband told them. “It will require you to transform into birds.”

    The young men both readily assented and did so without even giving a pause to confer with one another.

    All day, the wife baked loaves of bread. All week, the twins ate of this bread. Little by little, their bodies began to transform: feathers sprouted, beaks grew, their knees inverted. By the end of the week, the young men had become birds.

    “Now you must wait for your flock – and with them, you will fly to the abode of the gods,” the husband told them.

    Days passed. At first, the twins stayed near the homestead. The wife put out pieces of bread for them to peck on. Out of curiousity and wanderlust, the twins, more and more, took to the air, surveying the mountain range and feeling the wind, until they were rarely seen; for they now only appeared to partake in their daily bread morsels.

    The season began to shift; the air was different; leaves began to fall. One day, a flock of birds, birds of a type resembling the twins, roosted in the trees around the homestead. The wife set out bread for the flock. The twins returned, and, as they joined the flock, they all lit onto the sky to the gods.

    When the flock arrived at the abode of the gods, the door to the abode was closed; so, they roosted outside. After a moment, the door opened: it was the butler of the gods.

    “We are the sons of Hasam and we desire an audience with the gods.”

    “They’ve just left,” replied the butler. “Just wait a moment and greet them when they appear.”

    The twins returned to roost with the flock and they waited.

    Days passed, many days.

    Time can become blurry with them waiting so long. After a time which felt like forever, one of the twins went up to the door and was astonished to find it open, the butler gone. The flock roosted inside the abode of the gods and they’re still there to this day!

    Abiding in the Abode of the Gods

    –––––––

    4 Sep 2025
    frida book
  • Let me remove the thorn
    there may be blood

    The Mouse and the Lion

    –––––––

    28 Aug 2025
    florentia book
  • Hearts tend to embellish
    so much blood spilled 
    pumping out vibrancy

    Sanguine

    –––––––

    20 Aug 2025
    florentia book
  • early memory
    first crush
    girl next door
    — Ginger —
    locks my mom
    (carrying laundry)
    out of our sunroom
    (my adoring wonderment
    at her bratty defiance
    as I gaze from without)
    mom miraculously
    behind her
    (out the gate
    through the front door
    up the stairs)
    …
    righteous spankings
    (meted out to her)

    Portentous Hussies

    –––––––

    14 May 2025
    fat lil notebook
  • How absurd!
    The notion someone would enjoy
    pushing a boulder for eternity:
    I was dismayed at first,
    then railed against it;
    after so many years
    rolling it around in my mind,
    I find it a worthy opponent.
    Now I dance with glee
    anticipating my coup de grâce
    indefinitely

    Damn You, Camus!

    –––––––

    5 Apr 2025
    fat lil notebook
  • Forgive me.
    When I drove you home,
    the peach fuzz on your dimples,
    your lithe limbs fresh from practice,
    your grecian forehead,
    your long curly hair,
    your quiet, earnest soul
    made a lobster of me
    caught boiling in my own blood.
    I tried to hide it.
    I felt the flames of my religion
    melting away from me.
    And the most cowardly sin
    I may have ever done
    is to ham-handedly deny
    your tender and innocent maidenhood
    undid me.

    Reckoning

    –––––––

    26 Feb 2025
    frida book
  • Exhaling
    silently whistling
    blithe as a tea kettle
    steaming before it screams
    nursed by her ribs
    tender as a kitten’s underbelly
    never looking up
    smiling into her smartphone
    as if she knew
    as the smoke blew

    Vaped

    –––––––

    25 Feb 2025
    frida book
  •              for
    my brief
    flickering flame
    soliciting
    stars
    I
    thank you

    Votive

    –––––––

    29 Jan 2025
    florentia book
  • In the rosebud, glory remains
    sun and rain, sun and rain
    this, the gardener’s refrain
    sun and rain, sun and rain
    this, the gardener’s refrain
    sun and rain, sun and rain

    Mille-fleuille

    –––––––

    13 Jan 2025
    florentia book
  • “goodBye!” — she cried
    “goodBye!” — sakes alive
    “goodBye!” — innocent joy
    love
    earnest pleasure
    in the plain fact
    The way “God” encapsulates
    the entire universe

    Why — just a little girl
    and I thrilled
    at the warbling that
    entreatingly woke me
    so many mornings

    until, rushing to the window,
    I blinked to find
    a young girl held
    upon a second story sill
    the whole window retracted
    her whole body dangling
    waving her father goodbye

    So did the months go
    those mornings
    punctuated by
    heart-piercing hoorahs
    in the shape of “Goodbye”
    in the shape of a girl

    I must see it again
    I thought
    and raced to the window
    and started to see
    some older woman there
    peaking out and waving fondly

    “goodBye!” still rang out
    “goodBye!” rained joy
    "goodBye!" the triumph of simple love

    her father escorting her away

    Sweet Exuberance

    –––––––

    14 Dec 2024
    florentia book
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