Which Is Where We Are Now

  • Playing safety for the skins. Against Minnesota, a fast running-back, 21, does well by approaching the line and doing a little out pattern and going all the way with no one covering him. After the first time this happens, I make a mental note to cover him on the line when he does this. It happens again. I don’t understand why the coach doesn’t say anything about this dangerous play. The play happens three times, each time I’m caught off guard. These scores resulting in an embarrasing loss.

    Next week we are playing Phily. At one point, the coach does mention the danger of that play to me and I tell him I’m plan to cover him (him??, we are playing a different team??) exclusively on plays like that one. I’m careful to put on my cleats. We walk up to the stadium. We listen to the other team do their prep talk just before the game. We try to walk into the stadium. It turns into a Phily metro station just outside the stadium. We have to wait for the subway. I have my shoes and socks in a small, handled paper bag.

    We are taking a bus to the game. I don’t have my shoes on.

    There is a couple women at the front of the bus. I ask her what she does. “I take care of shoes and manage things,” she says. I tell her I forgot my cleats. She looks at my bare feet. “It’s OK. Play barefoot” she said. “Yes,” I say, “that’s what I plan to do.”

    I’m at my parents’ home, eating cereal and either listening to the radio or watching TV. I wonder when I’m going to get my cleats on and go to the game. The announcer says the game is going to begin after these messages. I’m going to be late for the game, and what about number 21??

    Safety Troubles

    –––––––

    27 Sep 2010
  • After getting some webbing for my bike at REI, I slowly peddle through the upper-middle-classed people and prim rainbow-cloud shops. Something tells me to go for ice-cream, I peddle back and walk into Ben and Jerry’s; I crush at the cross-branded Lennon “Imagine” logos. I see a hippie tie-dyed-colored, framed print-out saying “If it’s not fun, why do it?” Absolutely, I think, taking a picture of it, and ponder my grandfather’s “If you aren’t having fun, get the hell out of there.”

    They don’t have cake cones, so I settle for a waffle cone. They don’t have peach ice-cream, so I settle for Boston-creme. I walk out. Kids are doing karaoke. There isn’t a seat available. I saunter past the lit water fountain that 20 kids are soaking up, as deeply into their souls as as deeply as their clothes are soaked.

    I sit down and a baby pit-bull puppy comes up for a pet. After a genuine moment, his owner, a young Asian woman, pulls him away from me and she shepherds his further advances towards me.

    I enjoy the cone as I take in the pure delight of running into the water and innocently taking on a song in public. As I leave, a child sings Maria Carey’s Hero and it all hits home for me as I bike off.

    Evening Recreation

    –––––––

    24 Sep 2010
  • Awaken from salvation dreams
    the angles cherish you already
    know this and flap wings
    
    Rejoice
     There never was a reason
     to forgo this day's
     attendant rejoicing

    Ajoy

    –––––––

    21 Sep 2010
  • I befriend a young girl. I’m a young boy. I’d like to get into bed with her, to make love to her of course; the emotion is more like a nap or a soul-embrace. She has a terrible secret that prevents this. Some man comes at night. There is fear of his destined approach. We wait together.

    There is a box car. Strip away the steel. There are layers and layers of interwoven steel strips lining the car. Strip away the steel. The last layer reveals a platoon of solders cavorting with the girl; she’s helpless among them. They are crude in their jovial taunting. They are all in on it. They all get a piece of her.

    Troubled Girl

    –––––––

    19 Sep 2010
  • Darling, don’t fade.
    From your curly locks,
    I reconstruct the mountain airs
     and the earthen landscape;
    from your starry eyes,
     the heavens and the
      vast universe.

    Extrapolation

    –––––––

    14 Sep 2010
    red with flowers book
  • Hugging the bottom
     little pebble
     never knew
    It could break the surface
     breathe the air
     create waves
    and the stream
     would just as well
     pass through

    Pebble

    –––––––

    13 Sep 2010
    red with flowers book
  •  Thank you for this pain
    these pangs of love
     You just beauty being
    I can’t get away 
     Amo, ergo sum

    Proof

    –––––––

    30 Aug 2010
    red with flowers book
  • Talking with ??. He’d like to play a video, but his old player is broken.

    I take it to Best Buy to have them look at it. I’m thinking the player is so old that I might end up having to buy a new player. I’m not even sure if they sell them any more.

    Turns out, none of the hardware was bad; I just need to upgrade the software; the upgrade is available online.

    The Best Buy clerk shows me a laptop with the screen displaying the site I need to download from. I’m surprised they didn’t just go ahead and download and install it. I’m surprised that they are using some random driver site. I know they know the site is one they can trust, despite it being some random site. They must have a database of these sites and issues for all kinds of problems.

    I look at the browser and there are many tabs open. It’s overwhelming.

    Fixing the Player

    –––––––

    2 Aug 2010
  • I’m very coy and I seduce one girl, then another. They are dorm-mates in the house with me.
    We are in a military barracks in some tropical region. Still, the barracks are spacious, clean, and simple.

    Tammy (childhood dog) walks away from the barracks; she seems lost. I follow Tammy… out the fort, onto streets; I travel the paths next to streets.
    Willa comes by in a plastic toy car. It’s a strange moment: neither of us is entirely excited to see one another; we resignedly say our hellos and a goodbyes.

    I follow Tammy to the military city. A giant deluxe hummer as wide as the two-lane road is exiting. I grit my teeth as Tammy walks right across its path; however, the driver sees her and waited before moving the vehicle. As I walk in, I’m arrested for being AWOL (being late). I am interrogated by a chubby man and then his superior: a Condi Rice type of woman. I’m Hawkeye Pierce. I explain I was drafted into this. She corrects me. I re-explain I was drafted into this, then hired myself out as a soldier after the war.

    Barrack and AWOL Following Tammy

    –––––––

    20 Jul 2010
  • So this is waking thought I had:

    Teach the external, then, more: help the student self-construct

    Teach the external, then, more: help the student self-construct

    –––––––

    18 Jul 2010
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